Open Adoption

An open adoption is one in which the child who has been adopted still has an ongoing relationship with the birth parents. This interaction can range from email, to telephone calls and letters, to meetings between child and birth parents. This kind of adoption has gained popularity in the last 20 years or so, and while it does offer a different experience for everyone involved, it isn’t for everyone.

The Pros:

In an open adoption the adopted child will not be confronted with questions of identity. He or she will never wonder if there were siblings, will never ask whether they “look like someone,” and will be exposed to racial and cultural heritage. They will also know their own medical history, which can be helpful in a medical situation. This kind of adoption also makes the process of adoption easier for some parents – both birth parents and adopted parents. Birth parents often feel less guilt about giving up a child if they can still interact with him or her, and know that the well-being of the child is maintained. Adopted parents are legally and physically the parents of the child, and many adopted parents enjoy the feeling that they are the “chosen” parents of their child.

The Cons:

Protecting the adopted child from unstable parents is difficult or impossible with open adoption. Also, the adopted parents must cooperate with the birth parents to ensure that relationship limits and boundaries are maintained for the adopted child, otherwise he or she will feel confused, and struggle with the assimilation into a new home that many feel is necessary for the well-being of any adopted child. Finally, should the birth parents later decide not to maintain contact with the adopted child, he or she may suffer from feelings of rejection.

If you are thinking about open adoption, speak to an adoption therapist about whether or not this process would be right for you and your potential adopted child. You may also want to speak to other adoptive parents and families for their perspective.

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